When schedules are demanding, maintaining close ties with an aging friend or family member requires intention. Whether you live across town or across the country, a host of commitments surrounding your career, family obligations, personal responsibilities, and travel restrictions may make it challenging to check in as often as you'd like.
Thoughtful planning with technological assistance can make it easier than ever to provide meaningful support between in-person visits.
Creating a Plan to Support Your Aging Friend or Family Member from Afar
Assess Their Needs and Preferences
Start by understanding what kind of support they may need — or want. Do they need assistance with daily tasks, help managing medical appointments, or simply need more opportunities for staying socially engaged? If they live in a luxury assisted living community, take advantage of the concierge-level services available. Many communities offer personalized wellness plans, cultural outings, and curated social programming. By coordinating with the on-site team, you ensure they're benefitting from everything their living accommodations offer while also maintaining their independence and dignity.
Establish Regular Communication
Consistent check-ins help maintain a strong connection. Establish a consistent schedule for phone calls or video chats to provide reassurance and social interaction.
One strategy for making these regular sessions more memorable is to make them special events. Add a theme, provide talking points, or make plans as you would for an in-person catch-up. You might suggest a virtual coffee date, watching an online concert, or taking a virtual museum tour together. If they’re comfortable using technology, introduce them to apps that allow for easy messaging, virtual visits, and photo sharing, which helps to create a bridge between in-person visits.
Coordinate with Local Support
Identify trusted individuals nearby — friends, neighbors, or community members — who can offer support locally, provide occasional companionship, and keep you informed.
If your friend or family member lives in an assisted living community, connect with the care team to help arrange experiences and outings that they will enjoy in your absence.
Manage Health and Wellness from a Distance
If your friend or family member needs assistance with medications or doctor’s appointments, explore digital solutions such as telehealth services, medication reminder apps, and online prescription refills. These virtual services help to ensure that their health remains a priority, without disrupting their independent lifestyle and offering you peace of mind. Inquire with the community's care team about whether they provide wellness check-ins and individualized fitness programs.
Plan Visits and Special Touchpoints
Although frequent visits may not be possible, thoughtful planning for meaningful time spent together creates a sense of anticipation and joy. Arrange for a private dinner at their favorite restaurant, book a luxury spa day together, or attend an exclusive event that aligns with their interests. Between visits, send tangible reminders of your relationship, such as handwritten letters, care packages, and personalized video messages, which serve as elegant reminders of their importance in your life.
And when it comes to celebrations, being present at special occasions can have a profound impact. Make arrangements for them to join you and attend birthday parties, weddings, and holidays virtually to ensure they feel loved, connected, and part of the family, no matter the distance.
Related: New technologies that can benefit seniors >>
Next Read: Assisted Living in the City
If your older friend or family member is struggling to live independently, it may be time to explore assisted living options. But what does assisted living entail? What’s included? Find out more in our next read:
Learn More About Assisted Living in the City
This blog was originally published in 2020. It has been updated in 2025.
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